As I stared at a picture that once belonged with Happiness, I couldn't help but wonder how it has now turned to Suffering. Distance and time did wonders in terms of my healing, however the blessing was like a terribly slow bullet - a magical bullet that somehow shatters painful memories but took its gosh darn time getting there.
I looked at another photo of you and your new Happiness. And I'm afraid. Not for the fact that maybe you'll figure out what I did because I had the foresight that I would not be able to provide you your current Happiness. Nor was I afraid that I might long again for the love I lost so deliberately and for our past to rule my selfish future.
No.
I am afraid because I stared at your photo, hoping ever so diligently, that I would feel the same pain I felt when I was told of your walking away from our past. I am afraid that I am still seeking for a reason to perish from this earthly bound body.
But really... I am still afraid of walking away from our past, plastering a genuine smile as I go, because you were my Happiness.
I looked at another photo of you and your new Happiness. And I'm afraid. Not for the fact that maybe you'll figure out what I did because I had the foresight that I would not be able to provide you your current Happiness. Nor was I afraid that I might long again for the love I lost so deliberately and for our past to rule my selfish future.
No.
I am afraid because I stared at your photo, hoping ever so diligently, that I would feel the same pain I felt when I was told of your walking away from our past. I am afraid that I am still seeking for a reason to perish from this earthly bound body.
But really... I am still afraid of walking away from our past, plastering a genuine smile as I go, because you were my Happiness.